One of the most common reason women come to me is for help making a career decision.
They are spinning in indecision about choices such as:
Staying in or leaving their job.
Increasing or decreasing hours for family reasons.
Changing fields
Doing extra study (Masters, PhD)
If they should go for a new job or promotion
At the root of indecision is being smart enough to think through all the pros and cons!
A new skill you need is to know exactly what YOU want and then to get your mind on board to support and enable you to act.
You know when you wake up and just want to stay in bed all day?
You might be sick, exhausted, have chronic conditions or be emotionally flat or anxious.
Maybe it's PMS or some family issue.
Whatever the reason, it's normal to have days when you feel blah.
It is part of life's 50/50.
Confidence is trust in yourself.
Do you struggle with a lack of self-confidence at work?
I think we have a strange idea of what confidence is.
Yes, it is about a positive view of ourselves and our capacity but to me, it's more than that.
Confidence is about trusting ourselves to be able to be resourceful and to survive or even thrive under difficult circumstances.
Building confidence can start very simply and powerfully by looking back at all the times you were resourceful and persisted.
Now that I'm feeling settled into the year a bit more, I've realised that I'm not using my time nearly as well as I could be.
I'm not saying this from a perfectionistic approach, I'm saying this from a.... whoops, I stopped paying attention and my day disappeared realisation!
You know how it is, you get a little less conscious of organisation or of following through with your plans.
Before you know it, you're losing chunks of time that you could be doing great things with!
If this is you, join me today to begin to reset.
Do you find yourself going round and round with the same thoughts that make you mad, sad or anxious?
Here is a fun tool that I learned from Dr Martha Beck - Your Greatest Hits.
Listen in on your mind as it goes down its usual path that takes you from, say, 'I wish that had gone better' all the way to 'I'll never be good enough'.
You might notice that you go through the same 'Greatest Hits' thoughts each time.
Dreading going back to work? Does it feel like your chest gets tight and heavy when you think about it?
The bad news is that the expiry date on your job might have been reached.
You may be able to tell by my tone, that I really do think this is great news.
Let's get you started!
Hooray, you did it! You got through this year!!!
Wow, it was a doozy. Well done. You're still here.
You got up each day, got dressed and did what you had to do (mostly).
Pat yourself on the back! Now let's take a moment to make sure 2017 is gooooooood.
I spoke to a dear friend the other day and she sounded surprisingly fantastic.
Vibrant, engaged, happy!
You might be forgiven for thinking that her life is easy breezy.
Let me tell you, it is not.
She is in the middle of some of the most stressful situations imaginable.
So what made the difference for her? Something that you can do, right now.
Have you ever thought of an idea, a new career or adventure, even a totally different outfit, something that you'd love? You're excited for a minute or a day but promptly drop the idea?
"I could never pull that off", "I wont be good enough"... basically, "What if I fail?".
If these are questions you're asking yourself, then you're still believing that two critical things about failure that are getting in your way (Spoiler alert: Neither are true, really!).
Whether your just dipping your toe into action or a seasoned adventurer, follow these tips and you'll never be stopped by fear of failure again!
Let me guess, you'd love to do something different with your work, whether it's a side-step or a total change... but you are stopped by these types of thoughts:
"It's too late to change your career. You're on this path. You need to stick with it. You have no other *real* choice".
But is that true? Really?
If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that we all make up stories and treat them as facts. Some stories are helpful and others keep us stuck doing the same old thing, no matter how much we want a different experience.
It's time for that to change.
One story that I hear over and over is that someone can't go after the career or business that they really want because it's too late. They've invested so much in what they've done so far and don't want to have 'wasted' their working lives.
I definitely believed this story.
I had devoted SO much time, energy and study into being a researcher. I genuinely thought it would be impossible to have another career.
It seems like everyone I talk to lately wants to start a business. There are so many opportunities these days and when we see others fulfilling their dreams a part of us perks up and says "ooh, me too!". That is a good thing – so good! The next thought is often quitting your job, but there are a few good reasons not to hand in your resignation letter just yet...
We all hear the stories about people who "just knew" what their business would be and then proceeded to quit their job with $35 in the bank and build incredible business empires. This is such an appealing story! It's a hero's journey with a successful outcome. It is all guts and glory. It is also part of the reason why so many businesses fail in their first year.
Don't get me wrong, jumping into things head first is totally my jam. I'm a quick start on the Kolbe index. But jumping in AND leaving your parachute behind (in the form of your day job), is not the smartest move for a few reasons.
Firstly, it creates too much pressure.
When we are highly pressured financially, all our decisions come from that place. It makes you reek of desperation trying to get business. It also makes you more stressed, less creative and less likely to take the calculated risks you need to make (over and over) to have a thriving business.
So how about working a steady job but compromising to ease the pressure a bit. There are many ways to configure your working week: work on the weekend for a while, keep your day job but cut down your hours or get a part-time job instead.
Keeping another income stream gives you the peace of mind and finances to really build the business that YOU want. It means you can try and fail over and over (also known as collecting vital business information). It may seem slower, but it has a much higher chance of succeeding and you get wiggle room that will allow you more time, creativity and risk taking overall.
Secondly, it keeps some kind of structure to your day.
When you quit your job straight away you have lots of time to work on your business. This is great in many ways but it can give you a little too much time. Time for self-sabotaging thoughts to take over (get a free guide here). Time to get lonely. Time to spend down rabbit holes online.
It can be a blessing in disguise to have a limited time to work on your business at the start. Concentrated time working on it, surrounded by other blocks of time to think and doing other things, including your day job, can work really well.
Thirdly, a steady job provides social contact.
As I said, quitting your job and working on a business solo can get lonely. Whether it's talking rubbish about the Bachelorette or celebrating the latest life event it's great to have colleagues around. While you build your new community, it's great to appreciate and enjoy your work community.
There's one thing that people worry about when they decide to keep a day job while building their business. That it will somehow doom your business ("I didn't 100% commit!"), signal you didn't really want it or that you will lose motivation.
The key is to know where you are invested, deep down.
You can commit to your business, while still doing what you know well for a portion of your week. If you're running a business that is soul or passion driven, it's unlikely you'll lose motivation. It will have a drive of it's own. Knowing your 'why' is the foundation of it all.
Why are you running this business?
It is uncomfortable for a while, straddling two worlds, but it will be worth it. You will know when to make the big leap. Trust that.
By the way, if you're not quite sure what business you want to start or job you want to move into, this is one of my favourite ways to help my clients.
Are you planning a new business?
What questions do you have that are holding you back?
What expert do you currently turn to for an outside perspective? Or do you need someone?
Fill me in below, and let’s see if we can get you on track so you can move through the discomfort and take action!
xx Lara
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Hi, I'm Dr Lara Corr, life coach and researcher in work and wellbeing. I coach successful 30 and 40 somethings who want more fulfilling or bigger careers but doubt themselves and their options. I help them get out of their own way, find direction and go for what they really want.
I am an absolute whirl of emotion right now. Ever since I really started listening to myself, that inner voice and the way my body reacts to things, and responded to it, I've been asked to make tiny and huge changes. Big changes still stop me in my tracks and take time to process but they are always worth it. What small, medium or huge things are calling your name? Are you choosing freedom or fear?
It seems like everyone we meet is 'busy'. We feel like there aren't enough hours in the day and like our to-do lists are never-ending. So what do we do when time is limited? Based on the research I conducted at the Australian National University, I can guess what you do... you drop anything you consider 'optional'. The thing is, what we drop, is often what we need the most to have us be healthy, happy and to get sh*t done.
We wonder why we have lost our spark, why we are oh so tired, why we end up online all night or in front of the tv. Could it be because we let go of so many things that give us energy, happiness and satisfaction in the process of becoming adults? When we rediscover the lost pursuits of happiness, life starts to sparkle again. It's life changing.
Do you make big plans, get all excited and then drop them just as fast? Gah! Why doesn't it work out? It could be that you're going about it all the wrong way. It's time to learn how to go big by going small, real small. Meet the real way to do the things you've been wanting/meaning to for all these years... it's so easy you wont believe it.
