Jacinta*, is a successful executive who, frankly, works her butt off. In her last role, she was carrying her team a lot of the time. There was a lot going on for her at work but what REALLY got to her was a colleague who left early.

Now when I say 'early', I mean, the colleague left at about 6pm each night (hours earlier than Jacinta). This colleague took vacations and even had the audacity to take lunch breaks each day.

There was plenty wrong with her colleague's performance at work but the final straw for Jacinta was this woman's work-life balance.

What feelings do you most want from your working life?

For most people I work with (and know) it's these things...

• Peace of mind
• To feel on the right track
• Enjoyment
• To make a positive impact on the world
• To have energy and feel good

To create these feelings, we need the right internal and external conditions.

When we want to do things differently in our life, we generally look for motivation to do it.

Something that KILLS ME is when clients try to find that motivation through harsh self-criticism.

You cannot berate yourself into changing your behaviours, thoughts, habits… not long term and for many of us, not short term.

Do you know that all we have 1-3 insights a week that could improve our lives significantly?* 

Okay, this isn't real research, but doesn't it feel like that?! It seems true for most people I know that are introspective in any way, myself included. 

What was an insight, 'aha' moment or realisation that you have had this week?

It doesn't have to be new (we often have the same ones over and over). 

What would it take for you to bring it into your life? 

Does this run through your mind?

"I just want to feel like I'm on the right path".

There are some people that can go through the motions and work anywhere doing anything and they are unphased. 

Then there's us. 

We want it to feel right, to feel like we are on the right path. 

Being off the path feels shite, like this ongoing restlessness and dissatisfaction.

Instead, we want it to feel right because we know what changes when it does... strange, wonderful things happen, over and over again. 

Do you ever think or say this?

"I don't want to seem up myself"
"I don't want to come across as arrogant"
"I don't want them to think I'm a b*tch"

Some version of what's above is what almost every client says on the topic of growing their confidence.

Women are associating confidence with aggression, with narcissism and with being unlikeable. 

We are scared of what we associate with confidence, so we avoid it. 

Who do you talk to when you need advice, direction or clarity?

Tell me. 

Think of at least one or two people. 

Now, tell me this...

Do these people have a lot of experience being brave and taking calculated risks?

Do they have the capacity to support your choices, even if it goes against what they want or would choose?

I know life can be tough or just kind of flat sometimes. Sometimes we get stuck or feel off track.

When that happens, I strongly believe that there is a veritable army of people as well as all sorts of other things that are gently helping us on our way.

It's never just up to us.

We are never alone (unless we want to be).

Recently, I talked with a client who is well on her way to creating a beautiful work life. She had been brave enough to explore her passions and leadings to uncover an amazing creative pursuit that is shaping up to be a fabulous business. She didn't want it to be everything though and decided she also wanted to pivot with her skills and experience to be employed in a new area. This combo of side gig and steady job felt great to her. She narrowed it down enough to start job hunting. 

There were jobs she wanted and could do - yay!

Then the opinionated voice - the inner critic - came out all guns blazing.

What do we do with our inner critic?!

I'll be damned if there isn't an area in your life that you'd like more confidence in.

Feeling confident - backing yourself and acting on what you need to - is a brilliant muscle to build. 

We know why we want to be confident, but how to we make it happen?